Philosophy on Grief Ministry

Our Story

For over forty years, Royce Bell (that's me) has served in undenominational ministry to thousands of "seekers." Sometimes, these seekers desire a spiritual understanding of God. As you might expect, I am is always happy to discuss these matters, whenever it may be convenient and comfortable for you to do so.

However, at other times there is a more compelling need that cries out to be fulfilled, such as when death invades life. In these times --when confronted with the immediate issues of planning for a reality or eventuality we do not want to face--we reach out for something that only experience and insight can provide. Sometimes, we just need somebody who understands what we are facing. Or someone who is capable and willing to express our deepest, most intimate thoughts in a professional context of eulogy and after-care coaching.

That is the place Ministry for Grief and Loss seeks to fill.

Our Philosophy on Ministry to Grief and Loss

Sometimes, I am asked about the spiritual nature of what I do. To be honest, my approach is defined by the fact that many are not interested in a denominational perspective on the questions about the destiny of those who have passed away. During the immediacy of dealing with what must be confronted, I am not interested in denominational perspectives, either. Folks want to believe the best and embrace whatever measure of comfort in sorrow may be available to them. And, what they really resent is somebody trying to cram some church tradition or dogma down their throats. I understand this and am always ready to offer whatever measure of support a family is capable of receiving, at the time of their loss.

That said, it is also true that an occasion of death is an excellent time to reason with people about spiritual matters. Long ago, I learned one must tailor that conversation into what is most effective. It has been my experience that during a funeral many people are too distracted to have a meaningful conversation about death and eternity. Family members are often on an emotional edge that leaves them unable to concentrate and to reason through the process of coming to spiritual grips with even their own mortality.

Furthermore, there is a lot of preaching in funerals about who is -- and who is not -- "saved" (whatever somebody may intend by that concept), and much of it is not based in reality (or the Bible, for that matter). At some point, you are responsible for your own faith or lack of it, just as the deceased was responsible for his/her faith. Even if I had all wisdom and insight into the question, how much of that can be adequately explained in the course of a short funeral service?

My Focus and Intent

I intend to rise above the preachments and present a positive view on death and bereavement, hopefully laying a foundation of confidence. Even more, I don't worry about what choices the deceased have made in their lives. Those choices have been made and cannot be changed. They were made according to the light that was within those who are now deceased and I cannot change that, even if I wanted to.

When my efforts result in someone asking me about spiritual things, I am most happy to share what what and why I believe what I do. I'm not interested in how denominational religion interprets the scriptures, but rather strive to separate those interpretations from what the reader understands from a simple reading of truth. Truly, it is rewarding to share what the Bible says about life, death and eternity, especially when a seeker and I come to a mutually shared experience of understanding. Often, we pray together and in our prayers, I never fail to acknowledge the loved one(s) who loss is grieved.

I tell folks that I am a Christian and my prayer is in the name of Jesus Christ. I let them know that, while I make no apology for my faith or prayer, I realize that not all people embrace my faith. I just present myself and what I believe in a simple and straightforward manner. My service is based on Biblical--and specifically, Christian perspectives--but without the denominational trappings that have always divided believers. In many respects, particularly in contrast with denominational requirements for ministers or liturgy-based services, what we do is very attractive to and appropriate for those who are not religious. In fact, when folks ask me about it, I tell them that I avoid "whittling on God's stick" and just don't preach folks into Heaven...or Hell, for that matter.

But, Our Loved One Was Not Religious

Sometimes people are surprised when I acknowledge that some are not interested in what either the Bible or other so-called "holy books" may say about death or eternity. Although I confess that I bring my own faith to anything I do, I realize the best approach with many is simply to be the best example of what I know would be a Christlike spirit. Then, with compassion for those who are suffering and hopefully, I can create an environment that is conducive to building a relationship that may, I trust, give me a broader influence on those whom I serve.

What About Religion in Continuing Support?

One of the realities about the grieving process is that the bereaved will need continuing support. Often, I warn folks that they may "hit the wall" in the grieving process and that, if nothing else, we can sit at Dennys and drink coffee while we cry about it. I'm very serious in that offer. Usually, the person who grieves just needs somebody to talk to.

Very often, these talks turn to questions about eternity. Interestingly, some of the best discussions I've had about religion (in general) and Christ (in particular) are with those who are not overtly religious, but still have questions to which they need answers. To me, just meeting them at the point of their need is the very essence of real ministry.

Conclusion

The upshot is simply this: Wherever the one who grieves may be in the vast process of resolving that grief, I'm willing to meet them. We can find some basis of relationship and if religion is not that basis at this point in time, then that's just the way it is.

Right now, the critical issue is that those who grieve--perhaps you--begin the process that will make you whole, again. You may discover that a discussion of spiritual matters will help you. If not, that's okay, too. In the meantime, you know I'm available to talk, when you are ready.

Our Story

My Focus and Intent

But, Our Loved One Was Not Religious

What About Religion in Continuing Support?

Conclusion

For Kids!!

Contact Me